You can’t look good on the outside and really be healing on the inside.
Sometimes going sane looks like you are going insane.
Sometimes you won’t be doing well, but you’ll be well.
It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? We think it’s all about the outside: the right house, the right car, the right clothes and haircut. But most of the time, it’s what’s on the inside that really matters. You can look great on the outside, but you are a robot. You can enjoy hearing people say how well things appear to be going for you; in reality, nothing is going for you.
Sometimes, it’s the days when everything looks wrong to someone on the outside looking in; it is those days that give bountiful blessings.
On those days, my heart soars so much I fear it’s going to bust out of my rib cage. My heart swells with joy and I think I might collapse from gratefulness. Anyone who peeked inside my windows would see nothing that special, nothing that amazing, just a crazy wild-haired girl whooping and hollering around her office, barefoot and dressed in flannel pajama pants with a mismatched sweatshirt.
But those moments are proof that I’m okay. There is grace abounding. I will make it.
I will also look slightly insane. I will have things going badly. I will not be in control of anything.
That’s the key.
We are so sure that being IN control means we’re okay. We’re so confident that our outward is really who we are. We’re positive that if folks look at us and think we’re okay, we’re okay.
These are the lies we tell ourselves.
The truth is we are not sometimes. We break down, we fall, we act really badly to friends or family, and the guilt takes us to our knees. We can’t figure out how we can be both Jekyll and Hyde in the same day. We can’t figure out why our kids think we’re mean when everyone in our neighborhood thinks we’re so awesome. We can’t figure out why folks think that our smiles are always real, especially those ultra-bright fake ones we plaster on when we are ready to throw in the towel.
We’ve got to believe that we may be healing in those awful moments. That things go awry for a very good reason. Grace catches us so much on those days. Perhaps it’s to show us it’s still there.
When things go well, we tend to forget about what we have been given. We get cocky, sure of ourselves. We think we don’t need any help from anyone. But it’s the days when things go haywire that we start to shake our fists at the sky. Resist the urge, please! The grace holding us on the bad days is the same as on the good days. When everything fails, when everything is lost, we are just as okay as we are dressed to the nines and looking all put together.
We are held when the sky falls down in our lives, when the rivers flood, when the mountains collapse, when nothing makes sense, when grief overwhelms our hearts, when nothing looks like it will ever be right again. I promise you, we are held tight.
Don’t be the fool who throws out what you are given. Don’t get caught up thinking that you may look crazy by luxuriating in the secret, hidden things. It’s not really us anyway; it’s healing.
Action Tip: If you don’t have it together today, you’re not alone. No one else does either! Know this to be true!
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }