It’s something that we’ve all been taught (probably not just the survivors of the Advanced Training Institute either). Be amazing! Save the world! Do great things.
For me the past few weeks being sick, I’ve realized I just am not going to make it. But that’s okay. Those are “false” goals. I wasn’t born with the idea in my head that I had to be amazing. My parents didn’t put that into our heads. Our churches, well, some did and some didn’t.
The point is that a cult (I was part of a Protestant, patriarchal Quiverfull cult for ten years) must push its members into superhuman goals and feats. It’s all part of the control.
There’s nothing I can do about that now. What’s done is done. My default speed is way too fast. (And I was born on Martha Stewart’s birthday, so whatcha gonna do?) In the past few weeks, I’ve tried to do things a bit differently. I will continue to do this until 2010. But come 2010, things are going to get busy, but perhaps I’ll have trained myself (or prepared myself) better to deal with the coming busy times.
1. I got off energy boosting sugar/caffeine. I left the world of Coke every day. It has been an easy transition, probably because my hubby did it with me (he quit last week) and because I just told myself that I hated the stuff (hint from a good friend). It has changed my drive for sure. I used to run on a couple of cans a day and not much else (a bit of protein, a smattering of salad) and now I have to actually find good things to eat. (Still salad! And I’m about to become addicted to celery soon, I think.)
2. I lowered my expectations. It was really tough to do this, but I remember being booked so thick with clients that I couldn’t hear myself think. I would love to have a lot of client work in 2010, but there has to be a limit. So my marketing is geared to bringing in many prospects and I’m going to have to get pickier. Very similar to being a busy parent and picking and choosing from all the events in a week’s time I should think.
3. Sacrifice a perfect house and some organization. I dither when I stress and start cleaning and organizing. I’ve decided to continue to do that, but not make it such a priority that I stress out about it. (I can’t win, can I?) I’ll be following a simplified house cleaning and errands schedule in 2010 and doing some of my gym routines at home (good idea, sis!).
4. Remind myself I don’t have to prove myself to friends and family and God. If there are other people in my life pushing me, ask if they are really necessary and make that choice for myself. Thus, to all who think that I’ve sold out or gone soft, well, I’m just not listening anymore.
5. Anchor myself with God, hubby, and nature. I love rocks. Always have. Hubby brought home rocks for me from his Olympic hike last week. He says when I go, the only rule is that I haul my own rocks out. 
I think I have a habit. Rocks truly keep me grounded to the present when I lift off into other worlds. God is first, hubby is next (then family and friends) and then my rocks. It sounds odd, but it’s working for me.
And that’s it. Most of this probably won’t even apply to everyone else out there who don’t stress out like I do and who have never tried to be more than they are. I salute you. I intend to be closer to that by the end of 2010.
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