R&D: Being Authentic

View from the Corfu, Greece Starbucks (newly opened)

So, I learned something on my trip to Europe last month. It’s a very simple, personal thing, one that I take quite seriously.

I must be authentic.

It’s very easy in this blogging and Twittering world to create a persona that appears a certain way. I’m sure there’s a small element of creation in my persona online, it happens. The goal now is to fine-tune it and make it real.

I can talk a mile a minute about writing and blogging and marketing. But what happens during my day? Do I actually do it? Do I attempt these things I push others to try? Do I realize what it takes to do all this and actually enjoy it?

Standing on a beach or a ferry or riding a boat on the Mediterranean made me realize I love water, I love boats, I love ferries, I love islands (Capri, especially!), and I need to include more visits to the bay, more ferry rides, more trips to islands so that I can feel that joy on a regular basis. Standing on my friend Carolyn’s back deck made me very happy (her waterfront home is calming, no pretense whatsoever). I want that.

I am not one of those writers who can copy others well. I have to make it my own every time. I don’t copy others well in a business either; I have to be me.

The trick is to keep the me factor as the business and the writing grows faster than I expected. The growth this past year has been amazing and I’m very grateful for that, but I have to tread softly.

What is the point of all this unless we like it? Unless this is what we want to do? And I think God wants us to do what we like. It gives Him just as much joy as it gives us, perhaps even more.

So, how does authentic work?

1. Drop expectations. I work at a day job and I have clients with ongoing commitments, but anything after that is only because I want to. And even those clients can be dropped at any time. And even the day job at some future point if it gets to be more than I can really take. I do love it, even today when the content management system will not cooperate with me at all.

2. Take little bites at a time. Don’t attempt to write a book, write a piece. Don’t attempt to get published, write everything you feel you should write. Take a few pictures, don’t pressure yourself to turn into a rabid photo-taker all at once.

3. Stop several times a day and check in with yourself. You’ve got to connect your to-do list with your spirit, I think. You need to be actively aware of yourself doing things you enjoy (and things you don’t like so much) to stay awake and alive.

4. Indulge. I do this without spending one penny. I place the patio chair just so in the sun and I pick up a favorite book to savor and I enjoy the sun. Or I let myself watch a piece of a favorite movie, just to hear the quotes I love. Sometimes, I even eat M&Ms. Ha!

5. Push yourself at least once a month. You’ve got to have highs and lows in your life. So, do something new at least once a month. This month, I’m going to get lost in historic Charleston, South Carolina by myself. I’m going to document it all in pictures and video for myself, no one else. I tried this while going through all those countries in Europe. I don’t have amazing photo skills, but I love all my pictures, even the ones of the back of that one guy’s head. It makes me smile.

What does authentic mean for me?

Being authentic means I’m me, nothing else. I mess up, I slouch in pictures, I wear my hair in a sloppy mass on top of my head because I’m lazy to actually style it while I’m traveling. I paint my toes with bright nail polish so that no one notices the terrible self-pedicure I did yesterday (I hate hiring anyone to mess with my feet). I talk frequently while people are attempting to take my picture and look like I’m pursing my lips or that I’m yawning uncomfortably. I am either very hot or very cold, never just right. I have not yet mastered the art of the perfect liquid line nor have I figured out how to actually wear lipstick that looks good (I like chap stick).

I am stubbornly Irish in that I refuse to burn or freckle too much, thus I wear SPF 70 every single minute I’m in the sun in Europe and anywhere else. It worked! I still look Irish!

I can’t stand not having Internet for more than five days and it was very hard to turn off my data on my phone while in Europe. I like to Google stuff while standing in the grocery line. Oh what we could have done with limitless Google going through all those countries! I now have piles of reading to do about everything I just saw.

I go on “no spendy” kicks for months at a time and then ruin all my good habits within a week by spending more than ever.

I really, really love American showers. I’m really in love with my box of Cheerios right now, too. I am vacuuming compulsively this week.

And right now, I am scared of writing. It requires too much of me. But I will do it anyway. I do it for me, remember.

Authentic.

Tagged as: authentic, R&D, writing